Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 July 2011

image for Heidi Montag To Replace Cheryl Cole and Join Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens in The TV Series "Vampire Vixens Gone Wild"
Ironically Heidi has paid for all of her 38 plastic surgeries with a plastic credit card. (Photo courtesy of Ke$ha).

HOLLYWOOD - The producer of the soon-to-be filmed television series Vampire Vixens Gone Wild had to do some fancy maneuvering after one of the stars Cheryl Cole suddenly left America and returned to her home in England.

Bandini Borrapelli informed iRumors' Taffeta Kixx that he was shocked to hear about Cheryl Cole being fired from Simon Cowell's American version of the British hit show X-Factor.

Borrapelli admitted that in his excitement at having Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Cheryl Cole star in his television series, he forgot to actually sign the contract which would have bound Cole to appear on the show.

The noted Italian producer/director said that it was a simple case of living and learning; which he said just happens to be the name of his next film which will star Johnny Depp, Kate Hudson, Condoleezza Rice, and two of the Kardashian sisters, Kim and Khloe.

Borrapelli said that he is glad to say that he was able to replace Chezza, as her ex-husband and probably soon-to-be-husband again Ashley Cole calls her.

He said that he called up about five actresses before he was finally able to get one that was not already making a movie, shooting a TV series, making a music video, having a baby, or sitting in a rehab clinic.

Borrapelli said that Cheryl Cole will be replaced by none other than the infamous "Plastic Woman" herself Heidi Montag.

Montag just recently finished shooting a motion picture with Rob Pattinson for Silver Screen Films in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures.

The movie is titled The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga and it will have it's motion picture premier in Beverly Hills on July 15, which just happens to be Tapioca Pudding Day.

Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens expressed to The Tinsel Town Times Tribune's LaTuna LaTundra that they can hardly wait to get together with Heidi and ask her about the 38 different plastic and cosmetic surgeries she has had.

Vanessa said she wants to ask Heidi about her uvula circumcision and the enhancement she had done on her ovaries.

Kristen meanwhile giggled and said that she is very curious about the collagen injections she had done on her G-spot, her tongue reduction, and her vagina vajazzling.

To learn more about the new G-spot collagen injection craze and to view over three dozen actual unretouched photographs go to www.nowthatsagspot.wow

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