Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 3 July 2011

image for The Cast of 'The Jersey Shore' is Returning For A Season Number Three Except For One of Its Guido's
More pizzas are consumed during one episode of 'The Jersey Shore' than on all the other TV reality shows combined.

TRENTON, New Jersey - Vinnie Vincent Bellavista the producer of the hit reality series The Jersey Shore has just announced that the show will be returning in August for a third season.

Bellavista says that he had actually toyed with the idea of replacing the entire cast with brand new young Italian-Americans and had actually held American Idol type auditions in several U.S. cities including Toledo, Ohio; Topeka, Kansas; Albuquerque, New Mexico; and Twin Buttes, North Dakota.

But he said that none of the total of 3,981 individuals that he personally interviewed impressed him.

He smiled and with a sheepish grin on his face noted that he was a little impressed with a 19-year-old Sonic Drive-In waitress from Twin Buttes named Luna Dawn Ravioli who was extremely well-endowed with a pair of 38-DDD knockers and who actually was able to limbo under a limbo bar set a mere 12 inches off the floor.

Bellavista told Ashburn Wasabi of The Right Coast Illustrated Revue that he has decided to go with the regular cast and he will raise their salary to $100,000 each per episode plus all of the pizza, pasta, garlic bread, and Fettuccine Alfredo they can eat.

Wasabi asked him about the rumor that cast member Vinny Guadagnino would not be returning. Bellavista verified the rumor as being true.

He shook his head and stated that Vinny had been involved in a personal incident in Italy that included Snooki, JWOWW, a pogo stick, and a baby hippo and that all concerned had been sworn to secrecy.

Snooki and JWOWW wanted to give or rather sell the entire sordid story details to the supermarket tabloid Just Saying for $415,000 but Bellavista vetoed that idea.

Guadagnino was reached at Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park, California and asked to comment but all he would say was "Hey git da eff outta my effen face."

The Right Coast Illustrated Revue will stay with the developing guido story and get the real reason why Vinny Guadagnino will not be part of the cast for the upcoming season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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