Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 30 June 2011

image for "To Catch A Predator's" Chris Hansen Caught With His Pants Down
Chris Hansen hiding his face in the restaurant of the Hotel Boom Boom in Palm Beach.

PALM BEACH, Florida - The man who makes his living being the nation's number one undercover sleuth has himself now been caught with his pants down under the covers so to speak.

Chris Hansen, who stars in the reality show To Catch A Predator was caught playing boyfriend-girlfriend at the Hotel Boom Boom with a television reporter who has been identified as Kristyn "The Piston" Caddell.

Ms. Caddell is a dishwater blonde, who loves swimming, enjoys snorkeling, likes kayaking, and is apparently somewhat fond of messing around with the husbands of other women.

The 30-year-old has been captured on video tape in the presence of Chris "The Piss" Hansen, who at 51, is old enough to be little Kristyn's daddy.

The happy May-December couple were videotaped at various restaurants in the Palm Beach area including A Captain Cluckity Cluck Clucks Chicken Shack, A Pizza Gal, A Burger Belle, and two Tacos, Tacos, And Mucho More Tacos.

Hansen and Caddell were also shown playing miniature golf in their underwear at The Mad Munchkins Adults Only Miniature Golf Course located on Mrs. Robert E. Lee Boulevard.

TV ClickerWorld's Sangria Wine tried to interview Mr. Hansen who has been responsible for capturing hundreds of sex perverts on his reality show but he texted her that he had a slight case of laryngitis and could not talk.

Miss Wine informed him that she would gladly agree to conduct the interview through texting. Hansen vetoed the suggestion telling her that he had just remembered that he had a semi-infected cuticle on his right index finger that would prevent him from doing so.

A frustrated Miss Wine texted him asking him if his crotch region was doing okay or if it was hurting as well.

She received no answer.

Chris Hansen is married to the very understanding (so far) Mary Hansen who has said that she will be dealing with the whole sordid, sick, crappy, piece of woodchuck poop situational affair in her own way.

Mary Hansen did say that she does plan on having her Chris + Mary 4-Ever tattoo removed from her wrinkle and cellulite-free lower back as soon as humanly possible.

In other news. Production will soon begin on Staccato Monteverdi's 'Brokeback Mountain 5 - Merrily Riding Sidesaddle To New York City.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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