Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 25 June 2011

image for U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

Torrential rain failed to dampen the spirits of the Glastonbury crowds last night as they rocked out to headliners U2.

And there was a huge communal sigh of relief as the world's biggest rock band successfully trawled through their 30-year back-catalogue of hits to delight the thousands of rain-soaked festival-goers and a massive TV audience.

Observers were worried about how the crowd would respond to the world's most successful rock band, as they played to an audience that wasn't exclusively U2 fans for the first time in years.

EIF News & Features' rock correspondent Nick "Mosher" Analogue, said: "Oh yeah, man. Tough gig, Glastonbury. Thousands of punters out to enjoy themselves and any people who don't want to see you are somewhere else watching a different stage.

"Don't get me wrong, the U2 lads played a brilliant set - it rocked, big time. But if anyone really thought they were gonna get bottled off, well they've been enjoying too much recreational substances.

"Coldplay are headliners tonight and no doubt there are fears for how they will be received because a some people don't like them. And watch out Beyoncé on Sunday!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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