Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Friday, 24 June 2011

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Karen Carpenter Today

New York, NY-- Rolling Stoned Magazine is reporting today some remarkable news about dead rock stars of the past. Most of them never died--they turned into vampires instead. Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix--and even Karen Carpenter simply crossed over to the other side. They hide themselves and don't perform, but the famous rock stars are still around.

Rolling Stoned did a recent interview with the late Jim Morrison of the Doors, who gave away some of their vampire secrets.

"We love being vampires, anything is better than being dead." said Jim. "We secretly contact our fans through Facebook and Youtube, and then suck their blood. Most of them love it!" he snickered.

Jim burst out laughing when he was asked how Karen Carpenter is doing as a vampire.

"Still anorexic! Takes a sip of blood maybe once a year." he laughed. "Real strange chick, probably still wants to bite her brother Richard's neck."

The Rolling Stoned article also mentioned there were some dead rock stars that really are dead.

"Michael Jackson!" said Jim. "Even the Living Dead didn't want him around!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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