Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 24 June 2011

image for Sandra Bullock Denies That She Is The Reason That George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis Split Up
A pair of Sandra's lipstick lips which are on a poster of her hanging on the wall of a KFC in Austin.

AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock was back at her Lone Star state mansion deep in the heart of Texas where she was taking a break from her movie making career.

She had heard the rumors about her current co-star George Clooney, 50, and his much younger girlfriend of two years Elisabetta Canalis, 32, breaking up.

Bullock spoke with Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo. Tickler had written that not only had Clooney and Canalis broken up but the word on the streets of Tinsel Town was that Sandra Bullock was responsible.

When she asked him why he had written that, he told her that an unnamed, highly reliable source had texted him that he had personally seen Clooney and Bullock at Cousin Connie's Crumpet Diner in London and that the two were sitting in a corner booth having a go at tonsil wrestling.

Bullock shook her head and denied ever having been in London's Cousin Connie's Crumpet Diner with Clooney, but she did confide that the two had engaged in a casual game of tonsil wrestling in Petula Clark's Downtown Restaurant in Waterloo.

The Texas actress said that her and George have been friends for a very long time and that she was in no way the cause of him breaking up with Canalis.

She remarked that she is like a sister to him and that she had actually helped him get over his fear of talking to girls without ever making eye contact.

Bullock noted that Clooney confided to her in strictest confidence that the reason why he and "Betta" had broken up was because she wanted to get another tattoo and he had told her that he hates them and that he actually wanted for her to have the ones she already has lasered off.

When Canalis refused he told her that if she did not do as he requested then he would dump her just like he had dumped previous girlfriends including Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, and Renee Zellwegger.

Elisabetta reminded him that Julia had dumped him and that Charlize and Renee had each cheated on him with an NFL player and an NBA player respectfully, or rather disrespectfully to be politically correct.

SIDENOTE: Ty Tickler and Hollywood Innuendo will stay with the story and try and find out exactly where all of "Betta's" tattoos are located.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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