Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

image for Amy Winehouse Makes An Absolute Fool of Herself at Her Comeback Concert in Belgrade, Serbia
A photo of Amy Winehouse singing the ironically appropriate song "Rehab."

BELGRADE, Serbia - Amy Winehouse showed the music world what a person who is bent on self-destruction looks like.

The English singer who is the female equivalent of America's Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen stumbled, staggered, and stammered all over the length and width of the stage before an audience of 20,000 people who ended up paying to see an out-of-control Winehouse slur the words to all of her songs

At one point she even slurred the words to a song which the band was not even playing. Her bass player could be seen telling her to get her act together and she responded by telling him to shut up, play the violin, and to stop looking all scared.

One of her back up singers ended up having to hand her his microphone after she took hers and tossed it out into the seventh row nearly hitting an auditorium vendor who was selling Bundevara Pitas and Jelen Pivo Beer.

One concert goer said the boos became so loud that they actually set off the smoke detectors in the auditorium. She added that the one and a half hour concert seemed more like seven hours.

The concert in Belgrade was the Kickoff Concert to Winehouse's Comeback Concert Tour and it was amazing that she was not kicked off the stage and told to never comeback.

The situation got even worse when Winehouse threw her microphone stand towards the audience. Her manager quickly jumped on stage and actually told her to leave the stage.

An unidentified young fan who was sitting in the very front row said that Amy told him to get away from her and to stop molesting her or she would call up Queen Elizabeth and have him charged with vagrancy.

It is no secret that in the past Amy Winehouse has had problems dealing with alcohol, drugs, crumpets, toothpaste, eye liner, cellulite, and tattoo infections.

France's national publication Le News is reporting that the Serbian Defense Minister Dragan "Dragon Man" Sutanovac is looking into the possibility of having charges filed against Miss Winehouse.

He informed Le News that he will see to it that all 20,000 fans get a full refund plus an extra $17 for having to put up with the imbecilic, ludicrously moronic way in which Winehouse conducted herself.

In a related story. Simon Cowell who dated Winehouse before she became a full-fledged looney says that he is making arrangements to have her put into the Priority Mental Health Clinic in Pimlico, England. He says that she will be put through a 46-step program which will include the newly devised Bicuspid Shock Treatment Procedure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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