Written by mikewadestr
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 16 June 2011

image for Crazed Hollywood Actor Runs Over His Ex-Wife: In Her Own Home
I didn't see her! Is my coke stuck in my throat? I can't find it.

In a tragic accident, former Three Buggers Eating Hamburgers actor, Jerry Blow, ran over his ex-wife and killed her. Apparently, Mr. Blow was taking a short cut to a Warlocks Anonymous meeting through the house of his ex-wife when the tragedy occurred.

"This is such a horrible tragedy", said sergeant NoBody from the local police department. "This is just so horrible. I think we all feel horrible for Mr. Blow over the loss of his ex-wife. The only good thing about this is that the damage on Mr. Blow's Mercedes was minimal. Maybe a few thousand dollars at most which, I'm sure, that his ex-wife's home insurance will cover".

When asked what Mr. Blow was doing driving his Mercedes through his ex-wife's house, Blow's lawyer, Mr. Meisterfibber, responded: "Mr. Blow has been taking this short cut through his ex-wife's house for quite a while because it cuts off at least thirty minutes for his trip to his weekly Warlocks Anonymous meetings".

"Mr. Blow had driven through the front door and then through the foyer which led to the kitchen. He then drove into the dining room and while he was rounding the dining room table, he was suddenly confronted by his confused ex-wife who had suddenly walked in front of him".

"Mr. Blow did everything in his power to keep himself from hitting his ex-wife. He would have turned left, but did not want to break the expensive Greek Vase that he bought his ex-wife for their first wedding anniversary. By then it was too late and Mr. Blow ended up running over his ex-wife".

"What is strange", continued Meisterfibber. "Is that past experiences of Mr. Blow's travels through his ex-wife's residence have had little or no defects, as anyone in the residence has just screamed and run like hell away from him".

It has been announced that no charges will be levied against Jerry Blow because it was determined that alcohol and drugs were not a factor, nor was speed. If there was negligence on any part, it would be on his ex-wife, who was not in a crosswalk when the accident occurred.

Make mikewadestr's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 5?

3 10 15 21

Go to top