Written by Neil Levine
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Thursday, 17 November 2005

image for It's Official! Paris Hilton Is Divorcing Nicole Richie!
The Double Mint Twins! Separated At Birth?

The Hollywood Hilton---In a media world saturated with fantastic schemes, Paris Hilton tells her old bud Nicole, "It's over. I don't love you any more."


Nicole shoots back, "No wonder. The media feeding has calmed down and you've got Stavros now."


Paris retorts, "You've got DJ Adam."


Nicole, "He's cool and, even better, I've lost weight."


Paris, "You look famished."


Nicole, "But I've got my records and I have internal bliss."


Paris, "You can keep your eternal bliss and your records. I've got my hotels and I'm not leaving them."


Nicole, "Yeah. But you live in Hollywood. You don't need a hotel to live in Hollywood. You can live on love and hype there, although hotels come in handy for parties, press and relaxing. "


Paris, "And you live on the East Coast meaning I can get top billing the next time we hook up."


Nicole, "Do you think we could? It was fun trashing white towns on the small screen. The attitudes we copped and the cops we gave attitude. What a hook. What a trip. We can always click together some other time."


Paris, "I hope we can hope and wasn't it wild. We ought to kick up our heels in my feather light rolls and fly. We can always cut into some movie and scream our heads off."


Nicole, "What good is that. We've just been voted the worst duet of all times by the cold raspberry awards."


Paris, "What do they know? They can't run through money like we can."


Nicole, "Yeah, they don't know how to live wild and free. Living on easy street and easy on the street living. "


Paris, "But something is coming down. We're not being stalked by the paparazzi like we're hot anymore. Something wicked is going on. Oh, we' re losing the spot light. We're fading from the scene. We're disappearing. We'll have to do something gross fast."


Nicole, "What can we do?"


Paris, "Well, I've been collecting animals.


Nicole, "Oh, how clever! Why don't you show off your animal side?"


Paris, "And my animal instincts tell me we can still roar into town and purr on the road."

Nicole, "Cool. I love you."


Paris, "Cool. I love you too but I love Stavros more."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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