Written by Appalling Trash
Print this
Topics: London, Theft, Arson

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

British socialite Bettina, Duchess of Koongal, 50, got the shock of her life when she returned from a Tahitian getaway only to discover that her luxurious 16th century mansion had fallen victim to an arsonist who has so far torched more than a dozen homes throughout upmarket London suburbs.

When interviewed by Jemima Knockers, Koongal broke down in tears several times, but did have a few words for the currently-at-large arsonist. "Whoever you are, watch out! I won't rest until I've tracked you down ... And when I find you, it ain't gonna be pretty, you f**ker!"

Asked if she had lost any items of sentimental value, Koongal added: "I've lost all of my crotchless knickers, my collection of erotica - my autographed picture of Florence Henderson in the nude, for crying out loud!"

Meanwhile, a police investigation is currently underway, and steroid-crazed detectives are on the streets looking for clues while stuffing their faces with cream-filled donuts.

Make Appalling Trash's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 4?

2 14 7 21
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more