Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for LeAnn Rimes Wants Everyone To Know That Just Because She Is Down To 63 Pounds Does Not Mean She Is Anorexic
This is a photo of LeAnn Rimes taken when she weighed 119 pounds. (Photo courtesy of Kanye West).

NASHVILLE - Two weeks ago LeAnn Rimes was weighing 78 pounds and she looked anorexic then. Today she is down to 63 pounds and she looks even more anorexic now.

But the 28-year-old country singer who has just about managed to shed her reputation for being a husband stealer insists that she is fine and that she is not afflicted with any type of eating disorder whatsoever.

In fact she told Palette May Honeymoon of Nashville Vittles Magazine that she has never felt better and that she can actually lift two 16-oz. bottles of Lone Star Beer in each hand.

When Miss Honeymoon asked her what her dress size is LeAnn told her to check out the label of her blouse. Honeymoon did and the size read minus 4.

LeAnn's husband Eddie Cibrian says that he kind of likes the scrawny look on LeAnn and that she sure does look a whole lot better than Carnie Wilson, Carrie Fisher, or Carlota Picante.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Carnie Wilson is the daughter of Beach Boy Brian Wilson. Carrie Fisher is the daughter of Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. And Carlota Picante is the daughter of Chipotle Picante, world famous matador from Nuevo Laredo, Mexico who due to a goring to his right knee back in 2009 now fights bulls using a walker.]

Miss Honeymoon asked Rimes what her daily diet consists of. And the blonde singer told her that for breakfast she eats a tiny bowl of 2 percent fat-free milk with five Cheerios in it, for lunch she eats one-fifth of a banana, and for dinner she will eat either a Saltine Cracker or three sunflower seeds.

Rimes did giggle as she told Palette May that one thing she has noticed is that sometimes she will be performing up on stage wearing a miniskirt and she'll look down and suddenly notice that her underwear has fallen down to her ankles.

In other news. The state of California is thrilled to announce that yesterday it did not experience any earthquakes, wildfires, or mudslides.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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