Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 12 June 2011

image for Clare Balding voted nation's most sycophantic presenter
Gratuitous sycophancy: Clare Balding's Royal Ascot week beckons

London - A poll of snooty TV battleaxes has seen the BBC's Clare Balding voted Top Female Crawler.

The 40 year-old sports broadcaster narrowly pipped BBC Springbotch presenter Kate Humble into second place.

Crinkly-haired blond Kate's entirely spurious series on spices was voted Top Excruciating Gush by millions of viewers.

Humble narrowly defeated Beeb news reader Fiona Bruce into Third Most Annoying - in recognition of her entirely spurious interviews with members of the Royal Family.

But Balding remains the nation's Top Female Arselicker for the sheer breadth and depth of her gratuitous racing coverage remarks.

"It's not just her Royal Ascot presenting that has me chundering," sources closes to her most affable co-presenter/ex-jockey Willie Carson commented today.

"It's the sheer bossy self-effrontery-thinggy of it all."

Balding's notorious 'stalking' of Princess Haya - second wife of Dubai's Shaikh Mohammed - for an interview at the Royal racecourse one year saw the petite Jordanian resort to hiding in a stables lav.

But it was this year's Epsom Derby TV coverage that had the racing fraternity dive for cover.

"The Queen's horse didn't win because it came third," connections of the French-trained winner Pour Moi explained.

"Clare should keep her gob shut and just report the facts - and not attempt to reduce the race outcome into some sort of Greek Tragedy."

Reach for the sickbag as a whole week of Balding-presented Royal Ascot coverage beckons.

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