TIJUANA, Mexico - Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled down to Tijuana, Mexico to purchase some stress pills which one can legally purchase as long as they are for your own consumption
The former governor of California and presently one of its most famous 'baby daddies' was dressed in a Los Angeles Lakers baseball cap, a Los Angeles Dodgers jersey, a pair of Charlie's Angels Sandals, and a Miami Heat jock strap which he wore underneath a UCLA pair of shorts.
He was asked by Paco Tacote, a reporter with The Tijuana Hola Tiempo if there were any more little "Arnolditos" running around El Lay (L.A.). Schwarzenegger immediately picked up the reporter by his shirt collar.
And instantly three Tijuana police officers took out their guns, pointed them at Schwarzenegger and in broken English Officer Ramon Ensalada yelled out, "Okey dokey, Mr. Conan, put dee reporter down now nice and eezee before I blow jur moosells all ober dee pinata cart parked behind ju."
Schwarzenegger instantly complied with the officers request. As he did the officer asked the reporter if he was okey dokey. Tacote replied that he was okay but that he was kind of a little on the scared side.
Officer Ensalada then turned to Schwarzenegger and told him that he was going to have to fine him $2,000. Schwarzenegger exploded asking why.
The officer replied that the $2,000 fine came out to $500 for disturbing the peace. $500 for making a scene and embarrassing him and his fellow officers. $500 for coming into a foreign country and acting like he owned the freakin place. And $500 for scaring the hell out of Senor Tacote.
Schwarzenegger asked him if he took VISA or MasterCard? Ensalada started laughing.
He then grinned as he took a drink from his bottle of Dos Equis and told Schwarzenegger that he would accept Monopoly money.
The three Tijuana police officers started laughing and one of them took out his taser gun and fired off a warning shot over Schwarzenegger's head.
Officer Ensalada then told the former governor that if he did not put $2,000 into his hands within two minutes that the next taser warning shots would hit him in his maid-poking crotch region.
Schwarzenegger quickly took out his wallet and handed over $2,000 to Officer Ensalada. The officer took it and told him that there would now also be a 15 percent finance charge which would be an extra $300.
Schwarzenegger handed the $300 over and quickly headed for the bridge to get back to the United States.
In a related story. USA DAYBREAK is reporting that the former Schwarzenegger family maid Mildred "Patty Cake" Baena is writing a book about her relationship with the former governor and the book is titled 'Mops, Hormones, Brooms, and Condomless Sex.'