Kate Moss's Hen Night has been cancelled because she's been arrested for offending a policeman.
The Policeman who is rumoured to be called Robert, and sometimes known as Bobbie, took offence when Kate tried to Mimic his Birmingham accent.
Bobbie, the Copper said it was such a terrible impersonation that she deserved to be locked up. He then proceeded to take out his handcuffs and he snapped them on Kate's wrists. But the tiny model was so skinny she easily wriggled out of the cuffs and is now on the run.
She is believed to be headed to the South Coast of England where she will be catching a submarine to Brazil. Kate is well loved in Brazil because she is a big promoter of Brazilian farmers markets and she buys their organic products in London whenever she can.
The Isle of White Police are denying all knowledge of Kate's arrest but they did say they arrested a stripper called Robert who was also impersonating a policeman.
They say that Kate may have fled the country unnecessarily and they'd like her to come back because she's very good for the economy.
By Katarina Frogpond.