Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 9 June 2011

image for Zippy Out Of 'Rainbow' Is Dead
Zippy's Love Child Was Disturbed When He Found Out Who His Father Was

Of course, everyone of a certain age will know that Zippy was not a person, but a really fucking annoying puppet who used to come on TV at lunchtime with his mates, George and Geoffrey, and annoy the shit out of anybody unfortunate enough to be watching.

Which usually amounted to kids who'd bunked off school.

Being a puppet, it would be silly to report Zippy's death, but the reality is that the man who did the voices for Zippy and George has died.

Roy Skelton passed away yesterday at the age of 79, apparently from a stroke, and will without doubt be sadly missed by friends and family.

But Zippy won't.

Once voted in a pub debate as the TV personality most people would like to see disembowelled and set on fire, by a wide margin, Zippy was just about as obnoxious a character as it would ever be possible to meet.

Only Tweety Pie and Road Runner came anywhere near Zippy in the smug and totally obnoxious stakes, yet strangely, George was nowhere near as universally loathed - even though he too was voiced by Roy Skelton.

George was a bit like everybody's senile grandad, whereas Zippy was like a clever bastard of a stepfather who deserved to be tortured in a terrible way before being ruthlessly executed.

The late and much lamented Roy Skelton must have had a ball, doing the voice for Britain's most loathed puppet character.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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