Written by j.w.
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Thursday, 9 June 2011

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Previous Bum Star

Pippa Middleton's bum has been overcome by former Countdown star Carol Vorderman's rear in the annual Backside of the Year competition.

Carol said her posterior was mathematically superior to Pippa's, but the public acclaim for Pippa (voted ass of the year by Bum Seekers Alliance) has resulted in several people turning their backs on Vorderman.

The Duchess of Cambridge, sister of Pippa, has felt left out since Pippa got the limelight at the Royal Wedding. She feels Pippa's backside lowers the tone of the Royal Family. The Queen has expressed her unease while sitting on her throne. Kate is also having to deal with her phone being hacked by someone working for a Sunday newspaper unknown the world over.

Meanwhile, new star of Countdown Rachel Riley is favourite for Bum of the Year next year. However she has admitted with a groan that she has to keep smiling through 'jokes' on the programme that no Spoofer would go near.

Speaking exclusively to her fan club Rachel said she hoped to follow in Carole's Bum steps if she could find the right formula to solve the mysterious equation between bum size and body weight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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