The Battlestar - Darth Vader released a press statement today singing the praises of marijuana, and all the joy cannabis has brought him. The Sith Lord wants weed to grow on every planet in the Empire, and for everybody to smoke it. He believes smoking weed brings balance to the Force, even to those on the dark side.
Darth Vader began smoking weed with Obi-Wan-Kenobi many years ago when he was still a boy. He would only smoke occasionally though, except when he was on Coruscant. Whenever he was on the capital planet, he loved smoking weed every day with Master Yoda, and watching gray smoke pour out of the little alien's pointy ears.
Many years later--after Darth Vader became Darth Vader--he became a daily smoker. Not many people know that if Darth Vader's visor is turned upside-down, it turns into a great bong. Darth Vader also loves taking secret hits of weed, that's where his pronounced wheezing comes from.
"Smoke, and the Force will be with you!" commanded Darth Vader. "Don't smoke all the time, and you will face the wrath of the dark side! The choose is yours!"