Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 6 June 2011

image for MTV Movie Awards - Reese Witherspoon Slam Dunks Sex Symbols Kim Kardashian And Blake Lively
Let's Not Talk About Sex - Kick The Dog In The Ass Instead.

Water For Elephants star, Reese Witherspoon stunned the audience at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, Sunday as she accepted the 'Generation Award.'

In her acceptance speech, she slam dunked reality TV show star Kim Kardashian, and others of that ilk, such as Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton, by saying that when she entered showbiz, the best place to keep a sex tape was under the bed. And not on the internet. Although she did admit that having a sex tape on the net made it easier to get a copy if somebody lost the original.

She then went on to criticise the nude photo controversy actress, Blake Lively, by saying that if a person feels the need to take nude snapshots of themselves on a cell phone, it would probably help to avoid media exposure by refraining from gurning for the camera.

All of which prompted viewer, Jebediah Lindstrom, a father of nine, to kick his pet hound dog Snooki in the ass, on the porch of his Hog Jaw, AK homestead.

"I was frustrated, damnit!" Lindstrom raged. "I done heard of all these sex tapes and stuff, but hell, I ain't never seen one! I guess I had it comin' - I should never have allowed the missus to set the parental controls on the PC. Only damned thing I can git on the web thang is eBay, the Discovery Channel, and Fox News. When I realized how many of them sex tape thangs is freely available out there, I kicked the hound dog in the ass. I guess it was frustration."

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