Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 6 June 2011

image for MTV Movie Awards - Downright Dirty - Timberlake And Kunis In Gropeathon
Heaven Knows How Many TV's Got Shot

Critics today appeared to be pretty universal in their condemnation of the MTV Movie Awards at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, slamming the show for being 'downright dirty' and complaining about the persistent use of cuss words.

The 'dirty' part occurred when Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis took the stage to present the Best Actor Award. In a shameless display of hedonism, Timberlake moved in behind the Ukrainian star and placed both hands slap bang on her chest area.

Kunis responded by appearing to cup her right hand on Timberlake's nether regions and swiftly jerk them in an upward motion.

"It was appalling," groaned Jim Carter, a viewer and father of twelve from Atlanta GA. "In fact, I was so appalled that I went out back to the yard, got my shotgun, and shot the God-damned TV set! It's outrageous that they can show this kind of stuff to the childrens."

Things went from bad to worse after that. The winner of the award, Robert Pattinson, then shamelessly dropped the dreaded 'F' word, as he accepted the plaudits for his performance as the vampire, Edward Cullen, in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Which prompted many commentators to remark that Hollywood's new brat pack are rampaging out of control.

"I didn't see the Pattinson fellah drop the 'F' bomb," Jim Carter admitted. "'Cause my TV set was broke by then. But as God is my witness, if I had of heard it, I would've taken out my shotgun and blowed another damned hole in that thing. My goodness...sometimes I truly believe that the world is on the rocky road to hell. In a Goddamned hand basket."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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