Following the conclusion of the 2011 "Britain's Got Talent" final, it was revealed that the runner-up in this year's competition, youngster Ronan Parke, might in fact be Simon Cowell's love child.
Speaking from behind his huge telephoto lens, Dave Sleazy from the Daily Sun of the World tabloid newspaper said that there was no other way to explain the sudden £1 million recording contract offered to the young lad through one of Cowell's companies less than 40 seconds after the conclusion of the competition.
"I mean, the offer was made on Saturday straight after the competition finished, even before ITV2 began plugging Simon Cowell, so it must be to pay him for his silence. I'm only sorry he can't pay Leona Lewis to be silent as well.
Sleazy went on to say that young Parke has got Amanda Holden's good looks and Simon Cowells teeth and hair, even though his hair is a different colour and his teeth do look far more natural than Simon's do.
Asked how he felt after this year's competition, Simon Cowell replied "Wealthier".