Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 5 June 2011

image for Queen Elizabeth cancelled all Buckingham Palace Garden Parties fearing tainted cucumbers
Mr. Loam's contaminant-free cucumber

Queen Elizabeth found herself in a bit of a pickle when she heard about the tainted cucumbers.

Everyone, who is everyone, knows that the Garden Parties held at the Palace have tiny triangular cucumber sandwiches, crusts removed, as the 'hub' of these very special occasions.

Her Majesty doesn't want to take any chances making her 'subjects' ill so, immediately after hearing the news, Garden Parties were cancelled.

The Head Gardener, Mr. Loam, has an appointment with the Queen set for 4 pm this afternoon.

Mr. Loam does not know why the Queen panicked the way she did because ALL cucumbers used in and around the Palace are grown by him in the Buckingham Palace greenhouses and are definitely contaminant free. They are organically grown in wooden splints in order to be perfectly straight when picked and, according to Mr. Loam, very tasty indeed.

Mr. Loam told the press that the public who have already received Gilt-edged invitations, should not discard them as he is certain he will be able to convince Her Majesty of the absolute pureness of his cucumbers, well in time for the next scheduled Garden Party.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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