Written by IainB
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Take That fans disappointed on the Progress Tour
Never Gonna Give you up

Take That fans as old as thirty-five, have been left disappointed over the latest massive mega-tour from pop sensation Take That.

"I queued for twenty-four days," said disgruntled fan, Anna Pronne. "And that was just for tickets. I queued for another four days just to get a place at the front of the arena so I could smell Gary and Mark. Oh and the other three. I'd rather not smell Robbie, cos he smells of betrayal. As it turns out I got to smell none of them! I've been conned!"

Tour organiser, Connie Tyst, is unrepentant. "People have got exactly what they paid for," she said. "It doesn't matter whether they queued for three weeks or ordered them online from the comfort of their armchair while watching Take That DVDs on endless loop."

The biggest issue that fans of the biggest band since the big bang have voiced their concerns over was that not one member of Take That appeared on stage.

"I wouldn't have minded if there'd even been a big poster of them all," said Pronne, "while they played Take That hits. Instead we got Never Gonna Give you up sang five times by Rick Astley!"

"What can I say?" asked Tyst. "They've been Rick Rolled."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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