Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 3 June 2011

image for Local Man Denies Involvement In Ronan Parke BGT Twitter Vote Rigging Allegations
Shuttlecock Behind The Sofa Earlier

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was lying low tonight, fearful that he may inadvertently become involved in the Britain's Got Talent/Ronan Parke vote rigging allegations, which prompted Simon Cowell to bring in the police.

Friends say that Shuttlecock is paranoid, and currently hiding behind the sofa, genuinely fearful that Cowell's goon squad will come pounding on the door at any moment.

The controversy began when somebody tweeted that BGT has been lined up for Ronan to win, alleging that the Norwich youngster has 'previous' with Simon Cowell. The allegation was hotly refuted by Ronan's family, and so infuriated Simon Cowell that he made an official complaint to the police, and promised to bring the perpetrator of the malicious tweet to justice.

Shuttlecock told Skoob Entertainment News:

"It wasn't me. But Simon Cowell is bound to think it is. I get the blame for everything around here."

Shuttlecock, who contributes to satirical website www.theSpoof.com, which specialises in fictional news stories about real life celebrities and sports stars, feels that he will probably be targeted by the police because he once had an article published about Sir Elton John being a bit gay.

"It was just a joke," he told SEN. "But I'll get the blame for the Ronan story, even though I haven't even been watching the show. Actually, I put it on for the first time, tonight. It was all right when that bloke off Knight Rider was on, but when Simon Cowell came on, I could see him glaring at me in HD, and I knew I'd get the blame for it. But it wasn't me! I didn't do it!"

Shuttlecock's long suffering wife, Anne, told SEN that her husband was just being daft and excessively paranoid because it's a hot day, and he hasn't had a beer yet. She said that he'll probably calm down a bit when he gets a few lagers under his belt.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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