Written by Steddyeddy
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Friday, 3 June 2011

image for Big Brother contestant shocks the world
The average Bog Brother contestant prior to day release

R Sole, a contestant from Big Brother, the popular reality television show specifically for the UK's un-dead and brain-dead, has shocked the world of hype, fashion, farming and destruction of the English language by doing something useful as a result of her appearance on the programme.

At a press conference held in East Cheam, 'R' announced that she would start working as a volunteer for two days a week in her local Hospice Shop.

Chav Dickinson, fake celebrity follower from the Sun, went into shock at the news and immediately began writing for her target audience in words of less than one syllable.

She went on to say that it was highly irresponsible for a Big Brother contestant to start doing something useful, as "what sort of an example does it set to the other slovenly, publicity-seeking, airhead numpties who cover themselves in moronic tattoos and want to give up working to become a full-time, completely useless, moronic, time-wasting fake celebrity."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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