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Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for Prince Philip to be 5th X Factor judge
The X Factor's all Greek to me

HRH Prince Philip has accepted an invitation from Simon Cowell to the the 5th judge on The X Factor.

To be billed as "Phil 'The Greek' Windsor" Cowell says that he will provide additional bite to the show. Notorious for only opening his mouth in order to change feet HRH has indicated there will be no holds barred.

"Personally I have no time at all for popular culture," he opined. "Most of what I have seen is complete and utter shit; boring, no-nothing commoners who can only bounce around on their heads, or sing like larangytic crows."

It is already clear that The Greek will have no truck with any but the whitest of white contestants. "Damn right!" he enthuses. "I mean, what does the Empire mean to us? We're there to educate the blacks and slitty-eyed ones, not emulate them."

It is known that the Queen is at odds with Phil's inclusion in the show. However, he is resolutely ignoring her protesations. "Damn it all, I mean, she even banned Nick Griffin from her Garden Party last year. She never even tries to like my friends, so I don't expect her to support me in the new venture."

Palace officials Tweeted today that they had overheard Prince Philip shout "Just stick your fucking head on it", with Prince Charles replying "I didn't know you were into football dad."

The Greek is understood to have replied, "I'm not. Your mum's just written a letter of complaint to me and she's fucking around with the envelope."

Phil the Greek is 109.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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