Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for A Pregnant Tori Spelling Is Extremely Upset At Being Banned From Walking On Malibu Beach
Tori Spelling cannot walk on Malibu Beach in a two-piece swimsuit.

MALIBU BEACH - The woman who became famous for appearing on her father Aaron Spelling's hit television show 90210 is not a happy beach goer at the moment.

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk, Tori Spelling, who is pregnant with her third child, has been sited by The Malibu Beach Neighborhood Homeowners Association.

In a certified letter signed by association president Marsala "Mint Julep" Maraschino, Tori Spelling has been asked to refrain from walking along Malibu Beach in her two piece bikini swimsuit.

The letter which BPT's Gazebo Serengetti was able to attain a copy of states that Spelling is hereby banned from walking on Malibu Beach in her two-piece swimsuit due to the fact that she has a very pronounced baby bump which in itself is fine, but which by the mere fact that it is exceptionally huge has caused her outy (belly button) to become even more of an outy and now it is at the point where it actually resembles a nipple.

Ms. Maraschino said that every woman living on Malibu Beach has given birth to at least one child, but the fact of the matter is that The Malibu Beach Neighborhood Homeowners Association has some very strict rules and guidelines when it comes to keeping the integrity of their luxuriously exquisite beach in tact.

She went on to say that one very well known, extremely rich, long time Malibu Beach resident stated that she was out walking with her seven-year-old granddaughter when the young girl suddenly became ill after seeing Tori Spelling's most unusual looking belly button.

The unnamed resident quickly took her granddaughter back to her $4.9 million beach house and explained to her traumatized granddaughter that the woman with the strange looking outy had most probably just been bit by one of the wayward seagulls which caused her belly button to swell up and look as humongously ugly as it did.

Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott will consult a lawyer about Spelling being banned from walking on the beach.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I personally called up and spoke with Ms. Maraschino. She was very cordial and stressed that the association does not have any problem at all if Ms. Spelling wishes to walk on the beach but just as long as her hideously looking belly button is covered by a gigantic sweater, a mumu, or perhaps a huge piece of duck tape.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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