Sweaty-palmed boffins at the University of California have made an astonishing discovery we can all enjoy - a new Middleton sister. The nerdy scientists from the SETI team were searching for hot extra-terrestrial babes to gawp at last week, until they decided to focus the Hubble Space Telescope on the English town of Bucklebury to see if they could spot Pippa Middleton's derriere.
After a few hours of focusing, observing and perving, they finally hit upon their earth-shattering discovery. "It was a seminal moment," said one excited geek.
They instantly telephoned their favourite tabloid, "The Black Hole", who sent their top papparazzi round right away.
The third sister is named Henrietta. Where Pippa Middleton is known for her radiant bottom, and Kate for her gropable face, Henrietta has some sexy attributes of her own. As one of the first reporters on the scene said, "I nearly fainted when I saw her ankles. They are so shapely! If she was a 19th century piano it would be illegal not to cover them."
See more pictures of Henrietta's ankles on pages 2 through 72.