Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

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Shunned!

Former pop songstress Lily Allen is enjoying the quiet life, having vowed to quit the music industry in an effort to stop playing the fame game.

Hardly anyone hears of the Smile singer these days so EIF News & Features decided to investigate just what she's been up to.

Media correspondent Niall Beaverbrook-Northcliff said: "Oh yeah - she's right off the radar. I contacted a media monitoring agency to see what kind of press she gets these days.

"Apart from having her Tweets constantly reported in the tabloids - you probably remember her moaning about not being invited to the royal wedding - there's not much about her, really. The agency says she's only had 1,567 mentions in the national papers in the last month.

"They couldn't count the weekly and monthly magazine hits - something to do with time issues.

"That press included a front page and feature in the Sunday Times Style Magazine last weekend of course. That was about her fashion business she started with her sister - not much publicity there.

"Oh, and there's the frequent blathering about her wedding later this month, of course. But that's not a lot, is it?

"And starting your own record label doesn't really count, does it?

"No! Well done to her... who are we talking about again?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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