Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Kermit The Frog Is 'Perverted' Says Miss Piggy
Kermit: hanging around outside a bar, yesterday.

Kermit the Frog, 53, is said to be in hiding after sordid revelations have been leaked from sources close to the beleaguered star.

In scenes reminiscent of the recent Charlie Sheen episodes, the usually clean cut star of The Muppets has been on a severe public meltdown over the last few weeks.

He was first seen leaving a Los Angeles nightclub with two known prostitutes, throwing in to doubt his relationship with long time partner Miss Piggy. He was also photographed at a party taking drugs, and close friends say his drinking has spiralled in recent months, to the point of addiction.

The latest incident was announced by Miss Piggy herself, who, after opting to 'stand by her frog' after the prostitute revelations, has now thrown him out of their Beverly Hills home.

Piggy, star of The Great Muppet Caper, was said to be 'shocked, shamed and disgusted' by the heartless actions of her one time leading man.

The star found a large collection of pornographic material in the marital home, all belonging to Kermit.

She tearfully told reporters 'I walked in, and there was frogs porn everywhere, on the floor, on the sides, even in the bathroom. Some of it was gooey.'

The exact nature of the frogs porn is not clear, but police have removed some of the stash to be 'investigated thoroughly', say chiefs, prompting experts to suggest some of it may well be of questionable legality.

Kermit has reportedly moved in with pal Mel Gibson, until the heat dies down.

The investigation continues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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