Written by patrickrae
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Monday, 7 November 2005

image for Jackson Slams Vicious 'Gossip'
Jackson flew in to attend the VH1 Music Awards earlier this year.

Pop Diva Michael Jackson has blasted reports that he is a cross-dresser. The Brunette bombshell went into hiding last night as the flurry of media attention peaked when paparazzi burned down his Neverland Ranch Mansion in an effort to ‘smoke him out'. However the ploy failed as Michael's private helicopter rescued him from the roof of the burning building.

Michael's PA/Spokesperson/Plastic Surgeon/Grandmother Clare Waters-Port was forced to make a public statement on behalf of the terrorised star early this morning, "Michael vehemently denies this accusation, but it is true. I‘ve seen it!"

Singer/Actor/Stripper Michael's first single, ‘Don't Stop Till You Get Enough' from his debut album ‘Off The Wall', went straight to number one in June of 1773. It spent a total of 350 weeks in the top spot and sparked a global tour supported by Madonna and William Shakespeare. Since then he has been keeping a low profile and industry commentators had until now been predicting a huge comeback. Not anymore. "This could be potentially career devastating for the star," suggests Hank Keys of Forbes Magazine, "If he recovers from this, it will be a miracle.

Jackson's twin sister Letoya Jackson is said to be by the star's bedside tonight, helping him through this vicious time. "A hideous accusation has been made tonight and it is up to the true supporters of this phenomenon to back his corner. If anyone has anything bad to say against my Brother I will scratch their brains out." Hissed Michael's doting sister at the World Music Awards.

Fellow Celebrity and famous father of the star, Holy Jo Jackson has flown into the UK to support his son. "How dare people make such accusations without thinking of the emotional consequences. If Michael didn't have his fans to support him this could be a disaster," ranted the star's father as he left the gents toilets at London's Heathrow Airport. International Megastar Madonna Penn-Richie, 57, has also offered her support to the troubled star. "Let those without sin cast the first stone, I would rather shoot every member of Westlife than see Michael in any emotional turmoil - and they are my favourite band."

It is yet unknown whether Michael will still host 'An Audience with Dana International' in Lanzerote later this month.

The Diva was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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