Written by Gordon Clarke
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Topics: Jordan

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Jordan has finally decided she has had enough of living in the spotlight and wants to quit the UK.

"I am sick and tired of being followed and pointed at everywhere I go. So I have decided to live in a country where I will have more privacy."

An insider at the US Embassy has revealed that Jordan has applied for a visa to live in the USA.However we understand that her visa interview didn't go as smoothly as she would have hoped.

When asked "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

She replied "No but I have been swung round by the tits."

"That's not what I meant.Do you have a police record?"

"Yes, Walking on the moon."

Her application is likely to be refused.Our source revealed "We already have enough brainless morons with false tits."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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