Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 27 May 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan Sentenced To 35 Days of House Arrest (Home Confinement) - What A Sick Pathetic Joke!
Lindsay Lohan is so damn lucky she really needs to buy some lottery tickets.

VENICE BEACH - Well Mr. and Mrs. America, the poor, little, mistreated rich girl has done it again.

She has pulled the wool over the eyes of some folks who are either smitten with her celebrity status or who have just gotten so damn tired of having to deal with her spoiled brat ass every two weeks or so.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo stated that the 2.3 reading on the Richter Scale that everyone just recently felt was caused by the collective "What?" shoutings of millions and millions of prisoners, inmates, convicts, defense attorneys, and normal law-abiding citizens scattered throughout the nation.

Lindsay Lohan was just fitted with an electronic ankle monitoring device and will begin serving her 35 day sentence in the safe confines of her beautiful Venice Beach mansion. So in all honesty LiLo's sentence of 'home detention' is basically just one step below her being as free as a friggin jaybird.

The freckled-faced diva needs to give her maid or someone in her employment some money to go out and buy her some lottery tickets because with her luck the bitch will most certainly win millions of dollars.

Lohan, like her BFF Paris Hilton simply laugh in the face of justice. They prance around in their Beverly Hills Rodeo Drive designer jeans, designer blouses, and designer tampons and make a mockery out of the American system of justice.

Many U.S. citizens wonder why is it that Ling Fu Chang, LaQuanda Washington, Carmelita Chalupa, and Little Prancing Fawn all sit in cold, dark, damp cells at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison for Women while Lindsay "The Diva Douchebag" Lohan gets to sit in her own home, sleep in her own bed, eat whatever she feels like eating while watching movies on her 104 inch big screen TV?

I guess that Charlie "Space Cadet" Sheen probably said it best when he told Ellen DeGeneres on her show that being an actor is not as easy as everyone thinks.

Tiger Blood Boy said that yes it's true that he was making $1.8 million per episode (per week) while he appeared on the number one rated situation comedy Two and A Half Men but what people don't realize is that he would get lots of emails telling him that they felt that he wasn't that good of an actor.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Poor baby...poor mistreated, friggin, mofoing, effen baby!]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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