Pittsburgh Steelers' alligator-arming wide receiver Hines Ward and professional dancer Kym Johnson were announced as the season 47 winner of ABC's Dancing With The Stars, and the couple believe that it was a shocking dance maneuver that sealed their win.
"We call it the 'Mike Utley'," said the 49-year old Ward, who led the Steelers to an inglorious defeat at the hands of an inferior team at this year's Super Bowl.
The maneuver, which includes Ward picking Johnson up from the 3rd or 'smell my grundle' ballet position, allowing her to twist, revealing her neck, and then slamming her into the ground, brain-stem first, into a hardwood floor.
"I know I am not a professional dancer," said Ward. "But I know about getting slammed to the ground. It's controversial, but it sealed our win."
"Chickens are both cute and yummy," said Johnson, recuperating in the Intensive-care unit of a southern California nursing home. "Wrinkles just mean God wants to keep you folded up. I talk to cheese!"