Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 28 May 2011

image for Gigi Goyette Says She Also Played 'Hide The Salami' With Arnold Schwarzenegger But Has No Love Child To Prove It
"George, I've got the best maid in the world, she cooks, cleans, and tucks me in at night."

CUCAMONGA - Gigi Goyette says she is tired of hearing all of the entertainment media talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger's maid and their love child.

She said that she and the man she refers to as the 'Peckernator' spent quite a bit of nights and days dilly dallying, badonkadonking, and doing the vavavoom.

According to The Tinsel Town Times Tribune Ms. Goyette who is 53, has hired a publicist to make sure that her story gets out there on the television airwaves as well as in the supermarket tabloids along with the dozens of stories about Arnold Schwarzenegger's maid.

She pointed out that she and the 'Peckernator' were intimate although she does not have a love child to prove it.

Goyette said that she is not really after any money. She pointed out that she also does not want to hurt Maria Shriver any more than she has already been hurt by her soon-to-be ex-husband, their ex-maid, and the ex-gardener who saw and heard a lot while trimming the hedges located right outside the master bedroom.

She remarked that she simply wants for people to know that she was also involved with the movie star turned governor turned movie star (on hold).

LaTuna LaTundra of 5T asked Ms. Goyette if she is planning on selling her story. She whispered that she had not thought about it and then asked LaTundra how much she felt she could get if she was to sell her story.

LaTundra told her that if her story was sleazy that she could probably get around $100,000 and even more if it was exceptionally sleazy enough to be made into a motion picture.

Goyette's eyes got as big as Valdosta onions and she took out her calculator and started doing some figuring.

She asked LaTundra if 5T would be willing to pay her for side of her story regarding her relationship with Arnold Schwarzenegger and their secret trysts to the Santa Monica Pier, Knotts Berry Farm, the Dodger Stadium SUV Parking Lot, and the La Brea Tar Pits.

LaTundra informed her that The Tinsel Times Tribune Times does not pay for stories but she offered to give her the email addresses of two supermarket tabloids who do pay for stories.

Gigi Goyette will soon be contacting the supermarket tabloid publications Say What and Just Saying.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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