Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 26 May 2011

image for Bristol "The Pistol" Palin Admits That Her And Fellow Dancing With The Stars Contestant Kyle "Tootsie Roll" Massey Are A 'Hot and Steamy' Item
Kyle Massey shown at the age of 2 with his nanny Calypso Jill Appenzeller.

MARICOPA, Arizona - By all first-hand accounts it does appear that Sarah Louise Palin is reportedly not a happy (Alaskan) camper at the moment.

It seems that "Snowflake" has just learned that her 20-year-old daughter Bristol is dating star and fellow Dancing With The Stars contestant Kyle Massey.

Massey, one of the most energetic celebrity dancers to ever appear on the dancing show was given the nickname "Tootsie Roll" by his partner Lacey Schwimmer.

Schwimmer told Redwood Fingerboo of The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that she gave him that nickname because she said that he kind of resembled a Tootsie Roll but only bigger, funnier, and a lot more talented.

Massey, who admits to being black, said that he and Lacey used to joke around during their rehearsals and that he nicknamed her the White Honky Cracker Ho.

When Schwimmer was asked if she minded that name, she giggled, took a sip of her Mogen David Wine, and said that she did not mind one friggin bit.

Both did deny that they was more to their dancing relationship than just tangoing, rumbaing, mamboing, and Viennese waltzing.

Fingerboo asked Kyle what it was that attracted him to Bristol. He smiled and said that it was her voracious appetite for food. He said that in regards to eating, they were both on the same page.

When Palin was asked the same question she turned pinkish and replied that she was attracted to Kyle's mile wide smile, his amazing unbridled energy, and the fact that he would always sneak a box of Hostess Twinkies into her dressing room.

The two were recently spotted at a Burger Bandit in Maricopa where Kyle was hand-feeding her French fries. When Bristol was asked to describe her relationship with Kyle she grinned and replied that it's hot and steamy.

Fingerboo said that he tried to contact Bristol's mother Sarah Palin to get a comment from her on the relationship but Piper Palin said that her mom was out in the state-owned helicopter ambushing moose.

The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle will stay on top of this black and white developing story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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