Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

image for American Idol: Well It Looks Like It Turned Into American Country Idol As It Is Scotty "Cowboy" McCreery Vs. Lauren "Cowgirl" Alaina
One of Lauren Alaina's Commemorative Buffalo Gals Cowgirl Boots. (Photo by Charlie Sheen).

HOLLYWOOD - Some last minute adjustments had to be made to the American Idol finale stage in the beautiful Nokia Theater but everything went on as planned.

Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest said that 18 bales of hay, an old 1959 cotton pickin' cotton picker machine, and an 1888 butter churner were brought in to add to the night's country music motif.

The final two contestants are both about as country as any two singers or 'sangers' as they say down in Mobile, Alabama could possibly be.

Scotty McCreery hails from Garner, North Carolina, a town that is noted for being The Whittlin' Capital of the South. Many of the male residents who reside in or near Garner have names that begin with Billy or Bobby such as Billy Clem, Bobby Ray, Billy Bobby, or Bobby Billy.

Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine noted that the Civil War movie starring Clark Gable Gone With The Wind has never been shown in Garner simply because the South lost.

Meanwhile Chipper Caruso of Cowbell Notes Music Magazine reports that over in Rossville, Georgia; Lauren Alaina's home town will have a holiday on Wednesday so that everyone can sit out on the front porch and watch American Idol and cheer on their hometown girl.

Caruso said that the town's main export is cornbread and that almost 20 percent of all moonshine sold in America comes from a couple of secret moonshine stills located just outside the Rossville city limits.

The town is also noted as being the place that country singer Glen Campbell wrote a song about that went on to become a big hit. The song was originally titled "By The Time I Get To Rossville" but Hollywood record producers insisted that Campbell change the name from Rossville to Phoenix.

Grilletta Brewburger wanted to clear up the fact that contrary to the rumors that have been circulating all over Los Angeles Lauren did not injure her vocal chords because she and Scotty were experimenting with what the Left Coasters refer to as playing a game of 'tonsil hockey.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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