Written by Lady Godiva
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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Pippa Middleton admits that she is afflicted with what is known as Internet Humor Site Forum Dwellitis
See these often - then you are NOT in control of your real life

The sister of the Duchess of Cambridge and sister-in-law of the Duke of Cambridge has just made a startling admission. Pippa Middleton admitted to a news reporter for the BBC that she is in fact afflicted with what is know as Internet Humor Site Forum Dwellitis.

Forum Dwellitis, as it is known for short, is a fairly new affliction that is mostly found in aging males living in the United Kingdom, France, Iceland, and the Falkland Islands.

Forum Dwellitis is an affliction by which an individual, who has lots of free time on his or her hands, spends an awful lot of time at the computer keyboard. The individual does not realize that he or she is spending so much time "Forum Dwelling" as it is known.

Friends and family members of individuals have listed things to look out for if you think a person close to you is suffering from this affliction.

Important things are ignored such as:

eating
drinking
showering
gardening
stamp collecting
visiting with family and friends

to name but a few.

Some of the afflicted can be found sitting, reciting lines from some of Shakespeare's most beloved plays.

When asked how she thinks she got it Pippa thought for a moment then replied that she thinks she may have got it from her great uncle Mortimer Middleton, 89, who resides in Saxmundham, Suffolk. Pippa recalls how she and sister Kate used to visit Uncle Mortimer and how he was always in his room endlessly tapping away on his computer keyboard.

Pippa asked him one time what it was he was doing and he said, without looking up from his keyboard, that he was in a forum section of a humor site telling the other site members what he felt they should be doing, saying, writing, and basically thinking.

Both Middleton sisters looked at each and whispered so as not to disturb Uncle Mortimer. Apparently they were both wondering why on earth anyone even think that others gave a jot about what their Uncle Mortimer thought about anything, much less having him trying to instill his beliefs, ideals, thoughts, and unsolicited suggestions on adult, mature people who were all perfectly capable of making up their own minds, having their own thoughts and ideas, and thinking for themselves.

The girls both laughed at their uncle, behind his back of course, and went away shaking their heads while muttering to each other, poor, poor Uncle Mortimer...he is such a lonely, lonely, bitter old man.

Medical and Internet experts alike all agree that Forum Dwellitis can be cured. But like any addiction whether it be drinking, smoking, gambling, or in this case butting into everyone's business, that individual has to first admit that he or she does indeed have a problem. Because as everyone knows half the battle is admitting to oneself that there is a problem - and Forum Dwellitis is a problem that if not remedied can and will only get worse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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