Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Imogen Thomas has more footballers balls in her closet than Arnie Schwarzenegger has maids scrubbing in his!
Arnie has no skeletons in his closet anymore, his ones have all come clean! (Get it???)

Imogen Thomas has admitted, that although she has been gagged (it was fun at the time apart from when the anonymous footie player applied the handcuffs, they were a bit too tight) she is bursting to reveal what everybody else in the world knows, apart from tabloid terrors, The S+n.

Imogen has several stories to tell, in fact she has had so many footballers balls in her closets she's even competing with that other overweight scallywag and ex-Conan, Arnie Schwarzenegger for the amount of dusty balls and maids who once visited their closets and left the skeletons behind them.

Arnies "playmaids" were not gagged (he just liked pinching their bottoms and doing other naughty things) so his skeletons have been rattling, big time, also mopping, scrubbing and dusting Arnie's bank account out!

Imogen was "gagged" by a court order (and her toy boy soccer stars) not allowing her to divulge names, but the Tabloids are determined to un-gag her and she can't wait because a couple of million on the bank account goes a long way to helping her recover from the humiliation of being gagged, handcuffed and whipped by her unknown, hunky soccer stars.

Hopefully more as the story undresses; she looks pretty good too!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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