Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 21 May 2011

image for Pippa Middleton gives up eating eggs in respect for the hens who don't get 'sex'.
No more hens' eggs for Pippa

In an interview given by Pippa Middleton today with "Farmers' Weekly" ace reporter, Chucky Porker, she admitted that she was giving up eating all produts containing hens' eggs.

Pippa found out that the only eggs sold for consumption are unfertilized which means the hens laying them don't have sex at all.

Pippa was so shocked at the thought of those poor 'working hens' not having any sex in their lives that she swore she would never eat anything 'eggy' ever again.

When asked why she had only just figured this out, about only unfertilized eggs being consumed by the general public, she told Chucky Porker that it was from a story she had read on The Spoof.

This matter of unfertlized versus fertilized eggs had never been discussed in the Middleton household. It just wasn't a subject that had ever been brought up.

Sex was a favourite topic of conversation around the Middleton dinner table, but only sex involving humans, Pippa told Chucky.

"We were once having a lovely rack of lamb for dinner and daddy said something about 'sheep shagging'. Mummy started choking and so we turned our attention to her, naturally.

When mummy was able to breath again, I asked daddy to continue with his 'sheep story' but he said that mummy wouldn't like it.

I never did find out what he was talking about. Maybe I should join The Spoof as a writer and ask the question on their Discussison Forum. I am certain ONE of those writers will be able to enlighten me. They appear to know EVERTHING, especially.....no....on second thoughts...I won't mention any names."

Chucky Porker said that Pippa was a lovely young lady with a cute arse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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