Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 18 May 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars Kicks The Original Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, Off The Show
A photo taken of Ralph Macchio as he was leaving the Dancing With The Stars studio. (Photo by Warren Sapp).

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars is now down to the final three couples as Ralph Macchio, the original Karate Kid, was sent home.

Macchio and his partner Karina Smirnoff [pronounced SMIRN-OFF] had a pretty bad week as Ralph had gotten his uvula badly bruised when Karina accidentally kicked him with a cha cha cha kick.

A few days after that she nearly knocked one of his ears off when an aerial maneuver malfunctioned causing one of her knockers to slam with the force of 2 G's against his right ear.

Ralph said that he had trouble hearing his daughter's Justin Bieber CD that she had lent him to listen to during their lunch hour.

Macchio who looks as if he could be the son of Alan Alda the star of M*A*S*H has one of the best personalities of anyone to ever appear on the show.

He signed more autographs than the other three remaining celebrities combined; Kirstie Alley, Chelsea Lane, and Hines Ward. He also got Bruno Tonioli off to the side and told him to ignore the fact that his fellow judge Carrie Ann Inaba had told host Tom Bergeron that sometimes during the live shows Bruno wears a bra underneath his dress shirt.

An insider with the show stated that the word around Hollywood is that Ralph Macchio has not uttered a curse word in 20 years ever since he was 29. And then the word was actually 'golly.'

The three judges all said that Ralph was a very good dancer except for the fact that he did not move his hips as much as fellow dancer Hines Ward, who is a wide receive with the Super Bowl runners up Pittsburgh Steelers.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" did offer to give Macchio private lessons but Ralph declined saying that he would have had to borrow money from the new double deck swimming pool fund to pay for the lessons.

In other news. The Rolling Stones have just announced that they will be going into the recording studio in a few weeks and recording a CD of twelve of their classic hit songs completely in Yiddish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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