Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 May 2011

image for Dannii Minogue Devastated Over Being Fired From 'X-Factor'
Dannii Minogue is so devastated at being fired she may take a trip to Buffaranda, Africa.

LONDON - This years X-Factor will hardly be recognizable. Three of the four judges are gone including Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, and now Dannii Minogue.

Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell left to return to America where he is putting the finishing touches on his American version of X-Factor.

Cowell is also reportedly looking into the possibility of one day running for governor of California.

Cheryl "Chezza" Cole left in order to move in with her boyfriend, one of the stars of Dancing With The Stars, Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough.

Chezza has also signed to appear with Simon and Paula Abdul as one of the shows judges. She also wants to appear in the next edition of Dancing With The Stars but only if she is partnered with Derek.

Cole said that she knows that she would probably end up slapping the quick tempered, sarcastic Ukrainian pro dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy within the first 12 hours of meeting him if he was her dance partner.

Minogue was asked by Neville Twickenbuck of The Tickety Boo News if she knows why she was fired. Dannii's eyes welled up with tears, her mouth began quivering, and she had to run to the ladies room.

When she returned she said that she has never ever been more shocked including that time back in June of 1996, when she and her sister Kylie traveled to the African country of Buffaranda and were almost eaten by the Zul Yum Yum cannibal tribe.

She told Twickenbuck that she feels that one of the reasons that she was let go was because of the much publicized remarks she made to Will and Kate at their wedding reception about how Louis Walsh looks like a human version of a Cabbage Patch Doll.

Dannii also blushed and added that a spokesperson for the show had also passed down the word that one of the shows executives wanted for her to wear shorter skirts and to dump the knickers.

Minogue told the spokesperson that he could go tell the individual that as far as she was concerned he could go suck long and hard on a lacrosse stick.

Dannii told Twickenbuck that she is so devastated at being fired that she may just take a trip over to Buffaranda and kick some Zul Yum Yum butt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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