Written by Al12
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Topics: Lady Gaga

Friday, 13 May 2011

image for Lady Gras Gras turns into Milk Woman
In every gram of saturated fats lies 100 grams of creativity.

Despite her petite waistline, Lady Gaga has a been given a new title for her love of cholesterol particularly amongst the French, Lady Gras Gras.

Although her outfits range from an enormous variety of accessories, one common theme for award shows happens to be animal by-products.

First the meat dress, then the egg, and reportedly a giant milk carton for her appearance at the Much Music Video Awards in Toronto, Canada! This will be the second time that the Lady will be saturated in saturated fats.

On-lookers insist that the milk-carton-made-into-dress has been perfectly custom made to fit Gaga's body extending from just below her hips, to her shoulders, and her head will come out the milk hole at the top. There will also be four more holes to accomodate Gaga's arms and legs.

When interviewed by a butcher/ friend of the Germanotta family near her home in Manhattan, Gaga (now known as Gras Gras) insisted that the dress has various interpretations, however after the MVAs she felt slightly guilty for wearing meat. "I don't want to aggrevate my vegetarian fans any further/ I'm sick of the criticism so I decided to choose a by-product instead. The meat dress was a symbol of human rights' advocacy but it had other personal benefits as well. I believe that in every gram of saturated fats lies 100 grams of creativity."

Lady Gras Gras was also interviewed by Virgin Radio, a Canadian station where she was asked if she will use the giant milk carton located at Harbourfront in downtown Toronto. To this she replied "No, the Haus of Gaga is going to design me a personal milk carton to wear. It will definitely contain milk at one point, but my crew members and I will drink it all before I perform. Also, I insist upon whole milk because that carton contains only two percent fat. For all of my costumes I require that the Haus designs me animal by-products that contain at least 23% of my daily saturated fats intake, anything less is simply unacceptible."

Later on during the interview, Gras Gras was asked how she manages to stay so slim while on a high saturated fatty diet. "I'm on a drunk diet. I simply mix my milk with alcohol which makes me throw up and I don't consume calories!" To add to this milk costume Gaga also threw in that she will be wearing tights made of cheese. "Although I love all kinds of cheese I was hoping for cheddar, not Swiss because it often contains holes... I sometimes forget to shave my legs before I perform."

It certainly is a pleasure to hear that Lady Gaga is concerned about personal hygiene, yet she reportedly requires a cooler backstage to prevent the cheese from melting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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