Nosey neighbours revealed today that they had seen the lady with the world's most talked about posterior, Pippa Middleton, taking advantage of the midday sun by donning a skimpy bikini and doing a spot of sunbathing in her back garden.
Near the shed.
"I seen her from out me back bedroom window," neighbour Ted Moulting enthused. "On a sun lounger she was, quite close by the shed, where the Middleton family probably keeps their gardening tools and fold-up commuter bicycles. She had a bikini on, and her was lying on her belly, letting the sunshine and fresh air get to her bottom. Not that I was peeking like, but I'd just gorn up there to get me binoculars out. I'm a bit of an ornithologist y'see, and me online buddy birbee says that you gets lots of tits out in the garden at this time of year. So I thought I'd have a look."
Other neighbours appear to have confirmed Ted's account, although most of them didn't seem to see what all the fuss was about.
Most of them seemed to agree that there was nothing really exciting going on, just an attractive young woman wearing a skimpy bikini on a lounger, near the shed, catching a few rays of sunshine and allowing a gentle breeze to play on her bottom.
The sole dissenting voice appeared to emanate from neighbour, Steven Seagull, who was said to be bitterly disappointed that the divine Pippa didn't elect to sunbathe in the nude.
"She wasn't even reading a book or anything," he complained. "Just lying there, she was. I got bored with the whole thing after a while and nipped indoors to download some hardcore pornography on me laptop."
More ray-catching headlines as we get them.