Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 13 May 2011

image for Hollywood Producers Going Mad To Sign Up Pippa Middleton, Michelle Keegan And Sacha Parkinson After Stunning Bikini Photo Pics Reveal That Britain Really Does Have Talent
Can I Have A Contract? I'm Anorexic You Know!

It seems that Hollywood movie moguls have finally woken up to the reality that Britain really does have talent, after casting an eye over holiday snaps of Pippa Middleton, Michelle Keegan, Sacha Parkinson and others papped in skimpy bikinis.

It appears to have been previously thought by Hollywood moguls that British women aren't really all that attractive, but in a stunning volte-face they suddenly appear to have changed their minds.

The general belief is that the tinseltown bigwigs were alerted to Britain's limitless supply of 'talent' when a pile of papped snapshots arrived on mogul, Louis B Mayor's desk at Tantamount studios.

Insiders say that old Louis, high on viagra, almost choked on his Havana cigar as he perused papped pictures of Pippa Middleton, Coronation Street actresses, Michelle Keegan, Sacha Parkinson, Katherine Kelly and Holly Quin-Ankrah relaxing on Benidorm beach in skimpy bikinis.

"Holy Kerrrrist!" he is reported to have said. "These are some hot babes! And there ain't a guddamned plastic tit, hair weave, or nose job to be seen. These chicks are frickin' hot! Git the bitches signed up NOW! I'm thinking about a remake of Charlie's Angels with four angels. We could call it 'Charlie's Angels Without Plastic Tits Or Cosmetic Surgery.' Ka-ching! Ka-ching! I can hear the effin cash registers right now. Get on it!"

A spokesperson for Granada Television, producers of Coronation Street, said:

"I'm saying nowt, me. I'm off down the pub before all them BBC bastards from Media City take all the seats."

Ace paparazzo Luigi Fanchini insisted that he had nothing to do with any of it.

"Fuck all to do with me. Any of it. Especially the Pippa Middleton shots. Heh-heh!" he said.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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