Sultry actress, Michelle Keegan, probably better known as Tina McIntyre, out of the world's best loved soap opera, Coronation Street, has apparently been photographed in the world's most miniscule bikini, and the lads mags are knocking one another's teeth out (metaphorically speaking) in a bidding war for the publication rights.
"There's a right to do going on there," said Skoob Entertainment News Supremo, Buffty Ginslinger. "There hasn't been a blithering kerfuffle like this since I announced that I'd scrapped my biopic of wrestling legend, Mick McManus of New Cross. Who used to be on World of Sport, with Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo and Kent Walton commentating."
The pictures of Michelle Keegan were apparently taken on Southport beach, and the curvaceous cutey wore a bikini constructed of fishing line and three first class postage stamps, designed by fashionista, Dierdre Bainbrige-Trebor.
The pics, allegedly the most explicitly available material featuring Michelle Keegan, without flashing her naughty bits, (not that there are any out there with her naughty bits depicted) are expected to be released at around the same time that Nelson is expected to get his eye back.
Potential publishers have been warned to expect a bidding frenzy when the auction starts on Tuesday in the middle of Stanley Park, Liverpool.
One observer remarked:
"If you believe this load of old bollocks, you'll believe anything. Even the Daily Mail. Probably."
More as we get it.