Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 14 May 2011

image for Jennifer Aniston Tells Piers Morgan That Her Breasts Are Much Prettier Than Pippa Middleton's - Morgan Agrees!
Jennifer Aniston as she appeared on 'Piers Morgan Tonight.' (Photo taken by Piers Morgan).

NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Aniston looked stunning as she appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight.

Aniston told Morgan that she is presently writing her autobiography which is tentatively titled The Damn Good Reasons Why I Can Get Guys But I Just Can't Seem To Hold On To The SOBs.

She spoke candidly with Morgan who asked her point blank why it is that guys seem to gravitate away from her once they've tasted the goods so to speak.

Aniston smiled and thanked Morgan for being so kind. She said that last week Howard Stern asked her the same thing but instead of saying goods he actually said [EXPLEVITE DELETED] and [EXPLETIVE DELETED].

Morgan started coughing so much he had to take three swigs from his glass of beer.

He then asked Jennifer if she ever missed her ex-husband Brad Pitt who had been snatched away from her by Angelina Jolie.

Jenn paused for a moment and then replied that she did miss Brad like when she needs a window fixed, a shower drain unclogged, or her lips kissed like there is no tomorrow.

Morgan asked Aniston what she thinks about all of the publicity that Kate Middleton's sister Pippa is receiving.

Jennifer rolled her eyes and told Piers that she cannot believe what all of the fascination about her is. The good looking blonde giggled and said that Pippa is really nothing special and that she squats to pee just like any other woman including her, Jessica Simpson, Queen Elizabeth, J.Lo, and Sarah Palin.

Aniston caught herself and remarked, "Well maybe not Palin."

Jenn then told Piers that she had news for Miss Pippa Middleton. Morgan replied that he was all ears. Aniston leaned over and whispered that her breasts are much prettier than Pippa's.

Piers Morgan turned three shades of pink. Spilled his glass of beer and went to a commercial.

After he returned Piers Morgan looked into the camera and said, "Having had the pleasure of gazing upon the breasts of both Pippa and Jennifer, I have to admit that Ms. Jennifer Aniston is absolutely correct.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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