Written by Skoob1999
Print this

Thursday, 12 May 2011

image for Carol Vorderman Still Good With Figures
Countdown - Carol Is Probably The One On The Extreme Left

She made her name on Channel 4's Countdown game show as the girl with a brain like a pocket calculator, as she almost invariably solved countless numbers game problems which left the majority scratching their heads in awe.

Carol has since left the hit show, apparently the victim of cutbacks, but as she stepped out in Mayfair a few days ago for a night on the town with a couple of girlfriends, she showed that even at 50, she's still pretty damn good with figures.

She turned plenty of heads as she walked through Mayfair streets in a stunning blue Roland Mouret Galaxy dress, which showed off every detail of her stunning figure.

She was quickly spotted by visiting kebab shop entrepreneur, Ali Bullo of Hampshire, and when a Skoob Entertainment News reporter informed him that the delectable Carol is 50 years old, he flatly refused to believe a word of it.

"She no fifty!" he exclaimed. "No bladdy way man innit! You winding me up. Bladdy barsted!"

Our SEN reporter assured Ali Bullo that Carol Vorderman really is 50 years old, and that she was a teatime TV staple as far back as the early 1980's.

"Bladdy hell!" he spluttered. "She look bladdy good an' that for fifty! Nice figure. Not too skinny. Me no like skinny lay-dees, they get bit mental an' that as them get older, innit. Me think she thirty, maybe thirty-five whatever - but no fifty! She very nice. If she want to, she can come to back of shop any time and me let her have little nibbles on me kofte innit! Bladdy hell mate! She well fit an that innit!"

So there you have it, Carol Vorderman is without doubt still good with figures, whether it be with a jumbo marker pen on a flip chart, or in a stunning blue Roland Mouret Galaxy number.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 5?

3 4 6 18
41 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more