Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 12 May 2011

image for Taylor Swift Denies The Rumor That She Is Cheating On Boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal With Ex-Boyfriend Taylor Lautner
A close up of Taylor Swift's hair. (Photo courtesy of FuFi Fondue).

PENSACOLA, Florida - Taylor Swift performed before a sell-out crowd at The Orange Seed Auditorium in Pensacola.

Afterwards she was asked by Tilapia Frisbee with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue about the recent rumors that have surfaced east of the Mississippi River that she was seen holding hands at a KFC in Nashville with Taylor Lautner of the Twilight Saga series.

Swift almost choked on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich she was eating. Frisbee asked her if she was alright. Taylor nodded that she was. Frisbee noted that she looked a little pale and asked her if she needed a beer.

Taylor whispered that she does not drink beer, whiskey, bourbon, wine or any kind of evil watery spirits.

She took a sip from her bottle of diet water and told Frisbee that she had heard that same damn rumor the night before when she performed in Raleigh, North Carolina at the Nicotine Stained Ashtray Auditorium.

Tay Tay as Swift is known by her close friends, told Frisbee that she categorically denies the rumor that she is cheating on Gyllenhaal with Lautner.

She asked Tilapia if she could please tell her exactly where the rumor had come from. Frisbee said that she sure could. She took out her cell phone and called up Larry King.

After a few minutes she hung up and informed Swift that the rumor had originated in Suncook, New Hampshire, and had come from a Kylee Lulu Pincushello, 19, who is 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighs 155 pounds.

Frisbee went on to say that Pincushello dropped out of high school during her junior year to work as a lap dancer at Yankee Hal's Lap Dance Bar & Grill in Suncook.

She further added that Pinchshello is a die hard fan of...Jake Gyllenhaal. And she recently got her 11th tattoo with Jake's name.

Taylor immediately called up Jake, who is making a movie up in Fairbanks, Alaska and told him that she will be flying up there to spend 36 hours with him.

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