Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

image for Kate Middleton - The Duchess Of Cambridge - To Sell Sea Shells On A Seychelles Sea Shore?
Please Get Out Of Our Bedroom!

That probably will not happen, according to dedicated Royal watchers, but it is no secret that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be enjoying a trip to the tropical paradise of the Seychelles.

Apparently, the couple have appealed to the world's press and paparazzi to grant them some privacy during their sojourn, and to please refrain from such activities as dangling out of a helicopter aiming a telephoto lens, disguising themselves as turtles, hiding in palm trees or renting decommissioned Russian submarines in order to get THAT exclusive photograph.

"They all want that topless, or better still, nude photograph exclusive," PR guru Max Stiffard explained. "And they'll go to any lengths to get it. You can't blame them really. An exclusive would sell for millions on the open market, and from what I've been told, the Seychelles are idyllic at this time of year. May I add that your headline for this article is typical of the reams of stuff and nonsense published lately. It really doesn't work. It's childish, and you're an idiot, and if you don't go away immediately, I shall punch you in the face. Very hard."

At which point, our Skoob Entertainment News reporter made a tactical withdrawal, mainly because he doesn't find being punched in the face a remotely enjoyable or fulfilling experience.

Although he did admit that the headline is a bit shit. More of a play on turds, than a play on words.

Rumours that top paparazzo, Luigi Fanchini is being kept under house arrest until the couple complete their holiday have yet to be confirmed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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