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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

image for Rolling Stones To Reissue '19th Nervous Breakdown' In Honour Of Man United
Tears For Souvenirs - A Sobbing Scouser On Sunday

The Stones classic 19th Nervous Breakdown is to be reissued next Monday on iTunes in tribute to Manchester United's record breaking 19th Premiership title success - and as a direct snub to Merseyside, and Liverpool fans in particular.

A spokesman for The Stones explained that the band have long harboured a deep resentment towards all things Liverpudlian, ever since they were so spectacularly eclipsed by The Beatles, and the whole swinging sixties Mersybeat vibe.

Already the move has been condemned on Merseyside, being labelled as 'needlessly provocative' and likely to have a 'negative effect on mental health' in the Merseyside region.

Insiders say that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have never been overly enthusiastic about the beautiful game, but that they're relishing the opportunity to get one over on the Scousers.

"The lads never forgot about The Beatles stealing all the limelight," an insider said. "They've had Liverpool stuffed down their throats one way or another since they were kids. And they do say that revenge is a dish best eaten cold. They're getting their own back at last."

Similar tribute projects being mooted include reissues of Queen's We Are The Champions, David Bowie's Heroes, Connie Francis's Who's Sorry Now, and Katrina And The Waves' Walking On Sunshine.

Although nobody seems quite sure about the logic behind the latter.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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